The Morning After

I think I know why I often get so upset when I’m partying. It has very little to do with the alcohol itself and more to do with the fact that I’m chasing the high of previous party memories. I have in my memory the perfect party nights; nights where you feel absolutely invincible and totally in tune with the life force around you. It’s the memories that you wouldn’t trade for anything. To get to that state is almost pure serendipity and often I think I try and force it. It just doesn’t seem nearly as often anymore that the people I am partying with are on the same page. Perhaps it is just life starting to pull everyone in their own different directions now, we no longer all have the same singular set of experiences to draw from as everyone is starting to more off towards bigger aspirations. For a while though it just felt so perfect, it felt like we were the only people in the world who got it. We may not have been directly changing the world but we were all living our lives. We were creating the memories we will continue to reminisce over well into our elderly years and we knew it. Now I suppose people are old and our youthful idealism is starting to dim. I’m not sure if I am just hanging onto the past or if having seen just how powerful people actually can be when their vision is united I feel I must keep trying to get back there to steal ideas for the future. Maybe I refuse to grow up and see the world through adult eyes but given that they are the ones that got us into many of the messes the world is currently in I don’t think I’m entirely convinced they will be able to solve all of the problems. There is something so innocent and pure about a child saying “well why don’t you just do x to fix the problem”. Adults always explain the answer away with long convoluted well-worn ‘truths’ but I think the answers are more simple then we want to admit. I think that’s why I don’t want to lose track of my inner child and why I keep trying to push people back towards the days of lore. There was something there if only for a moment that was real and true. So maybe I am a dreamer, or just a party kid at heart, but I think it’s more than just chasing the high of wanting to be reliving memories. I want to be constantly creating new ones, it’s how you make history.

Accruing positive change

Common sense is a tricky thing to find some days, and I think quite wrongly named as it is rarely common. I think what common sense should be called is the key that allows you to access a universal truth that you often miss because it is too close to your eyes. It’s the good old adage about not seeing the forest for the tress. You know there is a wall in front of you but until you have the words to describe it and the image identified you can’t comprehend how to get around it.

I think some people shy away from common sense because the trust almost always comes at a cost: change. As soon as you’ve been told something new and accept it, you must change the way you perceive the world and this thought can be terrifying. It’s how ideas can move mountains and inspire nations. The true may set you free, but the next question is always ‘then what’, and that’s the one that matters most. ‘Then what’ is the truth that blinds. Like looking at anything bright however if we squint at first and then slowly open our eyes we are actually able to perceive the image before us slowly and steadily. This is how we must access our universal truths.

There is of course also the age old debate about whether leaders, the ones who help us find our way to the truth, are born or bread. I for one would like to think they are shaped. Everything in life that you come in contact with shapes you in some way, leaders simply react positivity to the change. If this is in fact true then anyone can become a leader, they simply need to shift the paradigm of their perception. Simple is rarely actually that however, and with every passing day the change required becomes exponentially greater. Luckily, like Newton stated so many years ago, the opposite is also true. The more often you tap into common sense the easier it becomes: the light naturally is less blinding. Consequentially the change required is also smaller and easier to incorporate into your daily life.

Change then is most easily accessed by children but this should come as no surprise. Most people I know can single out a handful of mentors without whom they would not have even seen the door to common sense. Interestingly, most also can list a certain point or two in their life where they were forced to make a difficult choice. Despite the immediate consequences they choose to listen to their common sense and do what they felt was right. The result is often painful at first, akin to the pains of growing up, but the result is someone who they are proud to say they have become.

Although we can look to our children as our future, and the hope of a better time, in the end it is the here and now that is the only thing that can be affected. Each and every one of us must look to ourselves as a person who can actively effect change. The moral of the story here is that every day we are faced with choices that we chose to ignore because doing so is easy. But, if we instead chose to listen to what we know to be right, our common sense, our universal truths, then we would all be on the road to self betterment and positive change. A road that only gets easier after the first step.

Technological Determinism: or the kids are alright

I just finished reading an article in a recent Maclean’s Magazine mocking the new Dodge Caravan. It smugly says, ‘with this new car long family trips are a blur, you don’t even have to talk to your kids anymore’. Now my first knee jerk response is that the article was fairly well written and I actually agree with its main point, technology = bad as it can destroy family dynamics and the need for social contact. It also apparently means you don’t need to build ‘puts-hair-on-your-chest’ character by staring out the window for hours on end.

I personally experienced many family trips as a child. My younger summers were spent with my two brothers and parents in a Pontiac Firebird (seats 5) with no air conditioning. We trekked all over BC in that car and it doesn’t take much to bring back memories of my dad saying “If you don’t stop punching your brother I’ll turn this car around…” Personally I blame all of my misbehaving on the heat… The heat issue was fixed in my teen years however as we got an air conditioned mini-van. This also meant that being the oldest I often got the entire back three person seat to myself. I was bigger, so I needed more room to stretch my legs. Still, the trips were long and although portable gaming devices were around, they could only hold my interest for so long, so I either read books, or more commonly just looked out the window. A shrink might say you could blame my over active imagination on staring out a car window for hours on end imagining lots of fun creatures, or more often a cool ninja running beside the car doing tricks and fighting bad guys to keep me entertained.

So, as you can see, my first response to the ad campaign was the same as the writers: ‘character building’ uncomforts as child are funny as an adult and in many ways define who we are. Clearly then by buying this car we are robbing our children of the ability to be creative. The second these words came out of my mouth a shiver was sent down my spine: have I really become I conservative technological determinist? Does that mean I can no longer shout proudly “Damn the man, say the empire!” I want a progressive future full of forward thinking, as long as my children, if I have them, can grow up the same way as I did. Is this my equivalent to walking to school in the snow uphill both ways? On a side note, I actually did walk to school almost every day, although because I grew up in Victoria it didn’t snow much.

Thankfully, upon second thought, I can redeem my liberal soul.

I think often we get so caught up trying to make the world a better place that we sometimes forget to remember the consequences of our actions. This can be a bad thing at times because the past gives us the knowledge to reframe the future. Change however, like death and taxes, is an inevitable feature of life, and it cannot be stopped but it should also not be feared. Everyone is a product of their past, the good, the bad, and the learned mistakes define who we are. Because of this, it is frightening to think of a changed past as that would radically change our identity. Generally, I think most people like who they are, and want their children to grow up to be similar to themselves. At the very least they hope that their kids hold similar core values to be true, and want for them to have the same opportunities to succeed and grow.

In reality however, the next generation will inherit a drastically different world. They will have different toys, different friends, and face different challenges. Hopefully the world will be cleaner. Hopefully there will be less war, and poverty. A person will be a person regardless of race, religion, skin colour, or even affinity for a particular sports team. Because of this, because of everything we are now doing, children will not grow up in the same environment as we did. It cannot be helped, but that is not a bad thing. It is progress, and it is what makes us human.

I have one last thought before I close for today. Change for the sake of change can be just as bad as fearing change. Progress needs to be shaped, it needs to be molded, and its foundations need to be sculpted from the past, both the good and the bad remembered. As a parent / future parent of children and ideas don’t be afraid to turn off the TV, the video games, and your Ipod, and talk. The kids are alright, and will continue to be alright, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need some help, guidance, and love to become something everyone can be proud of.